In both her day job and her ministry work, Steph Wong has a passion for helping those who might find accessing the world harder than most. At PY Encourage this year, Steph brought all her professional expertise and personal experience and, alongside her husband Simon, spoke about neurodivergence in a youth ministry context, and what it might look like for a youth program to include everyone.
Steph describes herself as a ‘third generation pastor’s wife.’ Both her grandparents and her parents worked in ministry, and from an early age Steph knew the wonderful truth that Jesus had died for her, and she could put her trust in him. Steph has a particular memory of her mum sharing John 3:16 when she was around eight years old, and this verse has helped her hold onto the hope of living forever with Jesus one day.
Steph has been a professional speech therapist for more than twenty years, a job that appealed to her because of the mix of helping people and understanding science and research. She now runs an allied health business supporting people through the NDIS, helping enable communication for those with physical and intellectual disabilities, as well as neurodiverse people. “God has taught me that in speech therapy we get to speak up for people who are vulnerable and can’t speak for themselves,” Steph shares.
So during PY Encourage, Steph’s presentation helped break down some of the confusion and misunderstandings around neurodiversity for the youth leaders present, so they can better serve and love all young people in their programs.
Neurodiversity in the church
Neurodiversity can be viewed through many different frames, such as a medical condition, a sociological phenomenon, or a political identity. But in their seminar, Steph and Simon aimed to show what a biblical view of neurodiversity could be, and what care and inclusion in our churches might look like.
Neurodivergence or neurodiversity are words that explain natural variations in human brain functioning, where people experience the world differently from neurotypical people. Steph believes that loving and including all people in the life of a church is one way we can demonstrate the love of God. “All people are made in the image of God, and they have dignity and worth outside of their capacity or what functions they can perform,” Steph explains.
All people are made in the image of God, and so all people are also made for relationships, and speech therapy can help make those relationships more possible. In her job, Steph uses AAC (augmentative alternative communication) which uses gesture ,sign, iPads and other technology to help enable communication. In her personal life, Steph has family members living with Down syndrome as well as some with ADHD and autism. She has seen up close and personal what a life lived with neurodiversity looks like for these loved ones.
A youth group, with all the complications of social dynamics and different personalities, can be a place where loving neurodiverse people is not an abstract concept but a weekly reality. The PY Encourage seminar sought to equip youth leaders to care for all young people who walk into their programs.
Steph sees the increase in awareness around these issues as positive, because it allows for more people to speak honestly about how they experience church and what they need to fully participate in the life of a Christian. “If the reduced stigma means people can unmask and say ‘yeah I have this diagnosis but it doesn’t mean I can’t function in society or go to church or love Jesus. I just need some quiet time when church gets over stimulating or I find giant church conferences too hard’ that’s a good thing,” Steph comments.
Seeing individuals as individuals
In their desire to care for those with differences, churches must be careful to not make assumptions about what will help or what people need. One of the traps that churches can fall into is approaching neurodiversity with a one size fits all mentality to adjustments or accommodations.
“In the seminar at PY Encourage, I used the quote from Dr Stephen Shore that ‘if you have met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person.’ There’s so much variety in how different people experience their autism or neurodiversity,” Steph says.
Another helpful quote Steph used was from Kate Morris, a writer and trainer in both biblical studies and neurodivergence training. Kate says, “when someone says they are neurodivergent, that is not the end of the story, but the beginning of a conversation. Someone might not experience challenges in some environments, but they might experience enormous challenges in other environments.”
Having these things in mind allows churches to deal with each person as an individual, with their own needs and preferences. The best way to find out how to care for someone is to talk to them (or a carer), and find out what parts of church or a youth program are difficult or stressful for them.
Limits and lament
Another aspect Steph and Simon highlighted was the need to work within our human limitations, and the limitations of your church or program’s resources or structures. “Sometimes we can lament with parents and say sorry, we can’t provide a sensory gym, but we are doing things, even if it is not everything,” Steph says.
Different churches are able to cater for differences in unique ways. Bigger churches may be able to offer more specific programs like a Jesus Club for adults with disabilities or more specialised kids’ programs. But Steph says often small churches can do just as well at loving and including those with neurodiversity or other disabilities through personal relationships, and offering parents personalised support.
“Sometimes smaller churches can be the most inclusive setting, if the emphasis isn’t on a big service or loud worship. Often these churches are more intergenerational and accepting of everyone as made in God’s image. You don’t have to have a ton of programs, you just have to see Christ in everyone.”
The act of lamenting with people is another powerful tool in pastoral care that Steph shared about in her seminar. This means taking the time to acknowledge the ways this world can be more difficult for those with neurodiverse conditions. “I just lament every little thing really. So, if someone’s funding gets cut, I say ‘Lord Jesus, it is really sad their funding got cut, please be with them and look after them.’ But also, just holding space to pray for families and lament things with them, like when a friend developmentally outgrows their child who is delayed, or when families experience have setbacks. So through lament we accompany people, we walk with them in love through whatever is happening.”
By keeping our approach to all people rooted in the truth that they are beloved people made in the image of God, we are better able to wade through the complications, lament the real difficulties, and enable the church to be a picture of the body of Christ – many different parts, all with different purposes, united in Jesus.
Steph’s seminar at PY Encourage was able to help youth leaders understand a little bit better the challenges facing some of the young people in their care, and gave them some insights and practical tips for including and loving all people, regardless of ability.